Balak 5784: The Lesson of Bilam

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Shiur given in 5782

• Part 1: Parshas Balak: The Lesson of Bilam (5782)
• Part 2: Hosting Hashem on Shabbos (5771)

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Part 1: Parshas Balak: The Lesson of Bilam (5782)

A Modern Miracle

I once met an outstanding, interesting person. He was my driver. He told me an amazing ma’aseh. He got very angry one time.  His anger built up over a couple of days, until his blood pressure boiled over and he had a massive heart attack that sent him into a total coma. He was in a coma for three or four months. People were davening for him, but his condition was not improving.  Gornisht. Finally, a rav, a very special rav, Rav David Ozeri, may he live and be well, came to this fellow’s room and davened in his room shacharis, minchah,and ma’ariv out loud. After a week of davening and saying Tehillim, finally he said to the guy, “Steven! It’s time to wake up! Do you want to wake up?” And Steven put up a thumb. Then the rav asked him, “Do you want to go back to work?” He made a motion with his hand as if to say he wasn’t sure about going back to work. He called his family and his family couldn’t believe it. “Nah, he didn’t come out of the coma,” they thought. But the guy pashut came out of the coma a few days later! He had to relearn how to walk. He could only walk now. He doesn’t know how to run. He’s very grateful to Hashem for this miracle. I started watching him afterwards, driving a little more carefully. He was a very kind person. He told me that he wanted to take me wherever I needed to go. He even called me today. He said if any of your children come here, they should call him. “I’m happy to pick them up and take them places.” It was nice to meet a ba’al hanes. It was an emese nes.

This morning I couldn’t sleep so I got up at 5 o’clock. I figured I have to prepare the shiur. I took out a chumash, and I started looking in the chumash. I said, “Hashem, You’ve got to give me a thought. Help me out Hashem!” And there was a sefer there from a famous Sefardic rav on chumash, five volumes. I opened it up. I went through all the pieces on the parshah but I couldn’t find anything that resonated with me. I didn’t think that was what Hashem wanted me to talk about. Finally, I said, “Forget about it. I have to learn a little gemara.” I opened up a Kovetz Shiurim second volume. He has a kuntres there called Divrei Sofrim. And I noticed a very interesting vort in this kuntres (אות כג),related to Bilam. It was like Hashem guided me straight to this piece.^[i]

Bilam’s Mistake

He says in this week’s parshah, we find that Bilam Harasha was challenged with a great nisayon. He was invited to go with some folks to curse Klal Yisrael and make a boatload of money, which was something that he really desired. And what happened? He wakes up in the morning and he tells them, ” ‘לא אוכל לעבור את פי ה, I cannot transgress that which Hashem says, even if you give me your whole house full of money!”

Now, to me and to other people, it might sound like Bilam is being modeh. Yet Chazal call him a rasha and a tipesh. When his donkey finally opened his mouth, his donkey told him what kind of tipesh he is. Bilam Harasha! “Where in the world do you think you’re going? Don’t you understand? Don’t you get it that Hashem doesn’t want you to go curse the Jewish people? How many times does He have to tell you that?” Mamash amazing! And then what happens? He’s faulted, and he’s accused.

So Rav Elchonon asks a pashute kasha. Bilam said, “I can’t go against Hashem, but now Hashem was maskim for me to go with you all, so I’m going with you.” What’s the problem with that? You hear the question? Bilam declared that he can’t transgress the word of Hashem and he can’t do anything Hashem doesn’t let him do, so at first he didn’t go. He only went after Hashem finally told him to go. So why was Bilam such a bad person? What did he do so bad? A gevaldige question!

Rav Elchonon suggests a pshat and I think there lies a tremendous lesson. He introduces us to a passuk in Yirmiyah. Hashem told the Navi Yirmiyah that the Jews built bamos, these places of sacrifice for the avodah zarah called the Ba’al, לשרוף, to burn, את בניהם באש, their children in fire by offering them up to the Ba’al. Hashem says that this is something אשר לא ציוותי, that I did not command, ולא דברתי, that I did not speak, ולא עלתה על ליבי, and that never entered My mind.

What are these three things? It sounds like the same thing over and over and over? Rav Elchonon says if you take a look in the Targum, the Targum says as follows: אשר לא ציוותי, I didn’t command: means that this behavior is not in My Torah. ולא דיברתי, I didn’t speak: means I never sent a prophet to transmit such behavior to the Bnei Yisrael, and ולא עלתה על ליבי: means it never was My ratzon.

D’Rabanan Rules

Rav Elchonon says you should know that there are three chalakim of Torah. Torah is broken down into three divisions. You have a chelek which is called tzivuyim, commandments. Hashem spoke them out clearly. “This you shall do, and this you shall not do.” There is another chelek called dibur. Hashem told us through nevi’im and chachamim as messengers of Hashem to institute and transmit law to the Jewish people. And the third chelek is what is called ratzon Hashem. Something that does not have a commandment or the word of a Navi. But it is the will of Hashem. He says do you know what falls in that class? Under that umbrella fall all the mitzvos that the rabanan instituted.

Now, this is a tremendous insight Rav Elchonon is telling us. Everybody wants to know, why did Hashem leave things for the rabanan, for the rabbis to say? Because Hashem left many things for the rabbis to say and institute, so all of Bilam’s friends think they don’t have to listen to the rabbis now! Who are rabbis anyway? Rabbis say this pshat, and I say my pshat.

Let me share with you a beautiful story. Many years ago, a man wearing a white suit showed up in Teshe Yeshivah for ma’ariv,on Motzei Shabbos. I thought maybe he was selling ice cream or something. No. He came to daven ma’ariv. After ma’ariv, I went over to him and said, “Shalom aleichem Reb Yid. Who are you?” He told me his name. I said, “What brings you here? I didn’t see you all Shabbos.” He said, “I’m staying in the hotel down the street.” “What are you doing in the hotel?” He said, “There’s a Mensa convention.” I said, “And what is that?” He said, “Mensa is an organization for geniuses.” I said, “Are you a genius?” He said, “I’m a certified genius.” Certified. He has a shtempel. He’s stamped. Purdue genius. I said, “I’d like to introduce you to the head of this school, the head of the yeshivah. They call him the rosh yeshivah. His name is Rabbi Mordechai Gifter.” I said, “He’s also a genius, and he appreciates geniuses.” Nu. So he was happy to meet him.

We met him in the hall. Rav Gifter was not a youngster then, and he was walking with a walker. I brought him over and I said, “A gute vach,Uncle. I would like to introduce you to Mr. So and So. He’s from Mensa. He’s a genius.” Rav Gifter looked at him and raised his eyebrows. He had these thick eyebrows. He looked at him, and said, “Sir, are you a genius?” And he said, “Yes. I’m a genius.” He said, “Sir, may I ask you a question?” He said, “Sure.” “Do you know of G-d?” “Well, I have my doubts. I have questions.” Rav Gifter looked at him with piercing eyes, and he said like this, “Ah! Sir, you’re no genius! You’re far from a genius! By us, every three-year-old knows of G-d. A gute vach!” Bam! You know what he was telling him? You’re a tipesh. Because you know how to do Rubik’s cubes, that makes you a chacham?! You’re a chacham like Bilam. There’s reshaim and tipshim.

Rav Elchonon is teaching us an amazing lesson here. There’s an aspect of Torah that’s not written clearly. There’s an aspect in Torah that is not clearly expressed by the nevi’im. But the rabanan said it. The rabanan tell us what the ratzon of Hashem is. And mechutzafim are the ones who say, “I don’t believe in this. I don’t trust these rabbis who say what the ratzon of Hashem is.”

Whose Ratzon Do You Choose?

That’s what the passuk in Yirmiyah (19:5) is saying: לא ציוותי ולא דברתי ולא עלתה על ליבי, “they have built shrines to Baal, to put their children to the fire as burnt offerings to Baal, which I never commanded, never decreed, and which never came to My mind.” It’s not My ratzon. A whole new class of mitzvah. This is such a wonderful insight! And Rav Elchonon explains that was the ta’anah on Bilam. Yes, I didn’t command you. Yes, I didn’t give you a prophecy. But did you have a doubt of what the ratzon of Hashem was? Did you have any safek that Hashem doesn’t want you to curse the Jewish people? You think this is possibly the ratzon of Hashem? Of course not! But as long as Hashem didn’t tell him clearly, he was willing to go forward and ignore the ratzon of Hashem! That’s a chutzpah!  For that, you’re wicked, and you’re a tipesh.

In our lives, most people struggle with the ratzon of Hashem. You talk to secular people who are not yet frum, so they deal with the mitzvos of the Torah. The mitzvos of Hashem and the prophecies. But then you meet people who are committed to the mitzvos of Hashem. They’re committed to the nevius. They keep the Shabbos. They keep all the halachos. But they struggle tremendously with the ratzon of Hashem. For example, I was talking to a chashuve talmid chacham and I asked him, “Where are you living nowadays?” “We’re looking for a place. We don’t have a place.” I said, “What do you think the ratzon of Hashem is?” He looked at me like, what? What kind of question is that? As if to say, who cares? What my wife says, that’s what I care about. What do you mean ratzon of Hashem? I said, “Are you aware of the fact that אין לך אדם שאין לו מקום, do you know that every person has a place?” Do you know what that means, a place? A designated place. And if he goes out of that place, he’s doing the wrong thing.

Do you know what the word makom means? What’s the shoresh of the word? The shoresh of the word is kiyum, existence, being sustained. A place sustains a person. If you’re not in your place, you’re not sustained. You’re living off of something else and your nourishment, your life energy, is not being derived from this place.

Let’s say a person goes to Barbados. Or he says, “My ratzon is to go to Cancun, Mexico. I saw so many pictures of Cancun. I decided I’m going there. Not on Pesach, but I’m going there to chill.” So he travels down to the white sands of Mexico and buys himself a nice vodka with lemon juice. He’s sitting on the beach. Somebody comes to him and says, “Excuse me, are you a religious Jew? Do you think Hashem wants a religious person to be here?” “Get out of here!” the guy responds. “It doesn’t say anywhere in the Torah you’re not allowed to be on Barbados Beach or in Cancun on the beach.” Okay, that’s his answer. Do you have any hava mina that the ratzon of Hashem is that a person should be there? People don’t care about the ratzon of Hashem.

The most prevalent place that you find this problem is in shidduchim. A boy meets a girl. The boy decides the girl has good values but her cheekbones are not high enough. I like that cut of cheekbones. I like a nose that looks more Scandinavian. Her nose looks too Jewish. It’s too round. It’s not what I want. I told him you sus, that’s what you are. You horse! Where does it say in the Torah that’s a value, a measuring stick for the ratzon of Hashem? Do you know why there are so many people today that don’t have shidduchim? For this exact reason. Because they’re not subjugated to the ratzon of Hashem at all. He’ll marry a girl who is lax in mitzvos if her eyes are situated just right where he wants them to be. And if they’re blue, ah! It’s mehadrin min hamehadrin. I’ve told many people, “Do you think Hashem wants you to marry a woman like this? She’s barely committed. She’s going in the wrong direction.” “But Rabbi, you know how hard it is to get married today? Do you know what it is to get married today? I finally found someone!” I said, “You know the guy who marries the shikseh says the same thing. Many people who have married shiksehs told me that. They tell me, ‘Rabbi, do you know why I married a shikseh? They’re the only wives that listen to you. They don’t give you trouble. They’re not JAPS. They’re not demanding. They don’t ask you for this. They don’t ask you for that. They’re satisfied with whatever you give them. But the Jewish ones? They just want a bigger car, a bigger house, more vacations, more this, more that. You can’t satisfy them.’” What about the ratzon Hashem? Oh, that he couldn’t care less about.

There’s a girl who met a yeshivah bachur, a very chashuveh girl. She has good, deep conversations with the boy. But she lets him go. I asked her, “What’s the reason you let him go?” “You want to know the truth?” she told me. “His shirt was sticking out of his pants.” I said, “Completely?” “No, on one side.” I said, “Big deal! Whoopee do!” She said, “But this is not the person I can respect.” I had to control myself. I just wished her a refuah sheleimah and a speedy recovery and I hope she finds her dream someday. It was a pelah to me. Whose ratzon was she expressing?

Here is a girl who decides she needs a bachur that she can look up to and really respect. Now this girl is very smart. This girl is very accomplished. She’s traveled all over. I set her up with a bachur who is a talmid chacham. A bachur who sat and learned. He’s a very geshmake bachur. He’s worldly. But he never traveled. He met this girl, and for every story he told her, she had three in return. Where were you? There? I was there, plus there, plus there. Let me tell you. I met an interesting person. Really? Let me tell you who I met. The guy pashut felt like a mouse. She outsmarted him and outshined him. I called her up, and I said, “Please, please. Do you like this guy?” She said, “It’s the first guy I like in a long time.” I said, “Well, you’re losing him. You’re losing him fast.” She said, “What do I have to do?” I said, “You’d better act stupid, and when he says something say, ‘Wow! That is interesting!’ And don’t come back with your chachmos because you’re intimidating him. Don’t you want to get married?” You think she controlled herself? Nechtige tag! She couldn’t control herself. The next date the guy said, “Rebbi, I’ve got to get out of here. You’ve got to save me. How do I run away from here?” I said, “Run as far as you can go.”

People are unbelievable! Is that the ratzon Hashem that you should open your mouth however you want? You’ll get married, and over the years you’ll tell him all your stories. You have to chap arein now?! Do you really have to stick it in his face and make him feel not special because he’s a yeshivah bachur and you have more life experiences and travel behind your belt? That shows no seichel.

People are not rotzeh. The bottom line is I’m not rotzeh.

Shidduchim, Where to Live, How to Dress

Here is a woman who is forty years old. She’s not a baby anymore. Forty years old! And what happened? I told her, “You have to do the ratzon Hashem. Not your ratzon. The ratzon of Hashem.” I said, “Call me up the next time a shidduch comes up.” Finally, she gets an offer. A talmid chacham, a fine fellow. But he has one problem. He has a boatload of kids. His wife died, and he is left with a boatload of kids. I said, “How old is the youngest?” Ten. I said to her, “There are no diapers involved here. At your age, how many kids are you planning on having? Sixteen? If you have one, it will be from the miracles of the generation. What I would do if I were you is get married to him yesterday.” Recently, I met somebody who was 55. My heart went out for the person. My heart was broken for the person! Fifty-five and not married! That is a tragedy of tragedies! It’s a self-imposed tragedy. A person has to realize if you don’t accept the ratzon of Hashem, then you’re undermining yourself.

I asked a guy, “Where do you live?” He told me he lives far out. I said, “Why would you move out?” “That’s what I like.” I said, “Is that what Hashem wants? Does Hashem want you to move out? Who told you that’s where Hashem wants you to live?” Let’s say a person says, “I want to live near my family.” I say to them, “Is your family good for you or poison for you? What’s the story with your family?” “What do you mean?” I said, “Do your parents encourage you to learn? Do your parents encourage you to grow, or do they discourage you from growing? Do they put dampers on any time you want to grow?” He said, “They’re not supportive.” I asked him, “Do you think that’s where Hashem wants you to live? Do you think Hashem wants you to live next to a family who is putting you down and trying to keep you in the basement and make sure you never become a respectable citizen? Is it possible? No.”

There’s a lady that I met. I said to her, “Why do you dress like that?” You know what she answered me? “Because I like to.” I said, “That’s a good reason.” “I thought so.” I asked her, “But do you think that’s what Hashem wants you to do? Have you ever thought, is this what Hashem wants you to do?” It’s a very important question, rabbosai.

Here is a bachur davening without a hat. What does Hashem want you to do? I saw a shocking thing. Rav Chaim Kanievsky writes that if you don’t have a hat or a jacket, don’t daven with a minyan. If you can get a hat and a jacket later, it’s better not to daven with a minyan. I was blown away by that. What?! It’s a nice thing, a yeshivishe zach, you wear a hat and a jacket. But it’s a halachah? He said it’s a halachah and you shouldn’t daven with a minyan like that. I was flabbergasted. You go out on the street, out in the world, it’s not like that. You know what they tell me? “Hashem better be thankful that I even showed up in shul because if you’re going to start complaining, you know what? I won’t show up.” And a lot of people tell me that. “I don’t show up anymore because I felt that I was being dissed. I felt I was being rejected and not respected.” I told them, “If you don’t do the will of Hashem, how can you be respected?”

This is what Bilam’s picture was. He said, “If Hashem didn’t tell me clearly not to do this, if Hashem didn’t send me a clear message, then I will do what I want.” Even if he could understand clearly on his own that it’s in conflict with the ratzon of Hashem, it didn’t matter to him. And if a person lives his life this way he’ll never succeed in avodas Hashem.

Self-Analysis

I had a talmid once who thought he was a cowboy. He was an older person, but he obviously had issues when he was a kid. He liked to come to shul in real cowboy boots and with a cowboy hat on Shabbos. I told him once, “Just don’t bring the horse in here.” I used to always kid around with him.I learned with him a few times a week. He was a serious learner. He was a good guy. But he had this meshugas. He said, “What’s wrong with it? Everybody is making fun of me.” He was davening in a modern shul. What’s wrong with it? What’s wrong with this hat? What’s the difference between my hat and your hat? Because it’s made in Texas instead of Italy. You know how these guys start to kvetch the lomdus? And my shoes have a little edge on them or a little buckle on them, what’s wrong with that? I said to the guy, “Because you’re not a cowboy, and cowboys themselves don’t come to shul dressed this way. When they chase cows, they get dressed like that and when you go to shul there’s a certain decorum and a ratzon of Hashem how you’re supposed to behave.” “Oh, I don’t buy into that.” I said, “You really think that this is the ratzon of Hashem?” You know what he told me? “I am sure it’s the ratzon of Hashem because I only do it lekovod Shabbos.” I said, “You’re like the guy who came to shul in his pajamas.” He said, “I only wear these silk pajamas on Shabbos, lekovod Shabbos.” I told him, “That’s lekovod Shabbos? Wonderful, but pajamas are something you wear in your house, in your bedroom. You don’t wear it in shul. You don’t get it.” People are just thickheaded.

Now, the first step a person should undertake is to analyze his behavior. Is this what Hashem wants me to do? Does Hashem want me to wear such a funny suit? Does He want me to wear funny shoes? Does He want me to wear this funny shirt? Does He want me to wear this? You want to know if there is a difference between somebody who is learning in yeshivah, with a uniform, and somebody who’s learning outside yeshivah? Of course there’s a difference, a major difference! Night and day difference. If a yeshivah bachur comes to a shiur with a blue shirt – if a guy in Lakewood would show up in the kollel with a blue shirt – they’d laugh him out of town. If he was a balebus, they would say, “Good morning.” They’d give him respect that he opened a gemara after davening. There’s a certain uniform. If you saw a policeman coming in here with a white suit instead of a blue suit, everybody would laugh. You would ask him if he became the ice cream man. What are you doing? You became a plumber? Are you cleaning the streets now? Why are you wearing a white suit? Policemen wear navy blue, and army people wear green.

You have to get your mind to start conforming, to subjugate yourselves to the will of Hashem. And the rabanan are the ones who guide us. The rabanan are the ones who direct us. You could wear all kinds of shirts when you come to shul. Put at least a jacket on top. That’s all. Believe me, it’s not the end of the world. You can wear a cap on top of your head. Nu, you have to wear a Borsalino hat or something? You can wear a kasketel. I don’t know if a baseball cap is the ratzon of Hashem. I don’t think Hashem wants to talk to a guy who is wearing the Dodgers on his head. I don’t think Hashem is a Dodgers fan.

That’s what a person has to realize. That’s the idea. You have to get this idea klor, rabbosai: do you conform to the ratzon of Hashem? If a person thinks about it, it changes his whole life. It changes his whole perspective. That’s the first step. Then you slowly change. You slowly move towards the ratzon of Hashem. But if you think you can do your own ratzon and be successful, then remember the story of Bilam.

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Part 2: Hosting Hashem on Shabbos (5771)

Honoring Shabbos

We’ve been discussing how on Shabbos, there is a unique relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a unique change to the universe, and a unique change within every single yid. With that, we can now understand the concept of being mechabed the Shabbos.

There is a special mitzvah to honor the Shabbos with food, with drink, and with nice clothing. We know that whenever a person invites a chashuve guest into his house, the derech ha’olam is to invite them for a meal. You show respect through achilah veshtiyah, food and drink. That is the universal custom. Even in America this custom has changed a bit, people go out to have a bite to eat if a chashuve guest comes to their house, but in the world, that’s how it always was.

So al achas kamah vekamah, certainly one must see to it that he honors the Shechinah who is coming to us and is resting upon us. On Shabbos Kodesh, a person has to get a sense that he is honoring a sar chashuv. You have to be honoring Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

Honoring Hashem or Honoring Ourselves?

Sadly, there are many people today who like simple paper plates because it’s easy. They would never treat a sar chashuv that way. They would never serve on those simple paper plates if it was a sheva brachos, and it was a simple chassan vekallah coming to your house. Yet when Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes to our house, we think, “I’m doing it for myself, and I’m happy with paper plates.” A wife is surely happy with paper plates. The simple paper plates are noch besser. You’re happy with simple because it’s cheaper, your wife is happy with paper because she doesn’t have to clean it. Everybody is happy because our whole premise is that we’re doing it for ourselves. “I set the table. I put on the tablecloth. I did something to demonstrate that it’s a special day today.”

But a person has to know that they’re being mechabed someone else. And everybody who is a bar da’as understands that if a chashuve mentch came to your house, you wouldn’t pull out simple paper plates because it’s easy for you, unless you had no seichel. There’s a lot of things you wouldn’t use because it’s not becoming. Now, today, they have very expensive paper throw away plates. Okay. That is considered chashuv. You would serve it at a sheva brachos. But I’m not sure if you would serve it for a sar chashuv.

The approach has to be: “I’m being mechabed someone else. It’s not for me to get a sense of Shabbos.” Many people are under the impression that the kavod of Shabbos is for me to get a sense of it’s a different day. Many people think that doing special things on Shabbos is for me to kind of psych myself out, so I should imagine it’s a special day. That’s not the point. The idea is to be mechabed someone else, to be mechabed Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

Do You Honor Hashem Or Yourself With Your Clothes?

The same idea applies to bigdei Shabbos. A kohen who was doing the avodah in beis Hashem wore special begadim. On Shabbos, a person has to know he is omed lifnei Hashem. There is a din of special begadim on Shabbos.

You should know, the malbushim that a person wears on Shabbos have to be clothes that he would wear for a king because they are bigdei kodesh. That is a very important thing. R’ Tzadok writes that people mistakenly think that they are mechabed themselves because Shabbos has arrived. So then they say, רצונו של אדם זהו כבודו, what I want is my kavod. So I’m more comfortable in jeans.

I once knew a fellow who I used to learn with. He used to come to shul with a cowboy hat. He liked wearing big Western boots and a cowboy hat. He looked like a shtikle clown, but he had this hat special for Shabbos. I asked him, “What is this?” Many people asked him. He said, “This is what I feel good in.” I told him, “It’s not about you. It’s about Hashem.” I said, “If the president or the mayor was coming to see you, you wouldn’t take these boots out. You wouldn’t take this silly hat out.” He said, “You know, I paid as much for my hat as you paid for your hat.” I told him, “That’s pretty silly because you’re not mechabed anybody with that hat except yourself.” That’s a very big yesod to know.

The passuk, וכבדתו, you have to honor the Shabbos. And the gemara (Shabbos 113a) says, שלא יהא מלבושך של שבת כמלבושך של חול, a person has to be meshaneh his malbush and the way he walks and the way he goes and the way he eats. It’s not for himself. It’s to be me’orer, to make himself aware and to demonstrate that he acknowledges that he is doing it for the Ribono Shel Olam, for someone else.^[ii]

Honoring Others Benefits Ourselves

If you do that, you will be matzliach to extract the toeles that lies within the Shabbos because according to the amount of kavod that a person is mechabed someone, to the degree of kavod you give someone, you receive from that someone. Let me explain to you what that means.

Let’s say a person goes to an adam gadol and he is mechabed that adam gadol tremendously and he feels unbelievable kavod to the adam gadol. That person’s meeting with the adam gadol will be the most memorable meeting of his life. The more kavod you have and the more preparation you have for that person, the greater the hashpaa you will get from that person. It’s like a rebbi. When a person is mechabed his rebbi, he is mekabel much more from his rebbi than when he is not so mechabed his rebbi.

I could tell you about myself. When I started learning by my rebbi, I was all full of awe. I can tell you things he said 35 years ago. I remember them like today. Do you know why? Because I approached him with awe. But today, I have great respect for him, but I look at him more humanely. So even though now he’ll share with me many more secrets that he wouldn’t have told me then, if I don’t write them down, they don’t sear into my kishkes the same way they did in the past. I don’t receive that hashpaah I received back then.

I remember the time I went to the Steipler, zt”l. I thought it was going to be Har Sinai mamash. I remember every detail of the place. It made a tremendous hashpaah on me. I remember going to the alter Satmar Rebbe, zt”l. I remember going into his house and I remember waiting in line. They weren’t being gores me and my brother because we were punks, we were young, but I remember sneaking into his bedroom and lying on his bed. And I remember, I got lots of hashpaah from that visit. I remember standing next to him, watching him daven minchah. I remember everything about his minchah. I remember everything about his bed, about his room, about his silver negel vasser. The place was malchus mamash. It had a tremendous hashpaah on me. The next time I went, I was already older. It was already different. It wasn’t the same matzav. It wasn’t the same hashpaah anymore.

So the more a person is mechabed his Shabbos, the more he is mechabed a zach, the more he is mushpa from it and the more he receives from that zach.

This is the same concept of why we don’t do work on Shabbos. The idea of not doing work on Shabbos is not simply that we should get our minds off of naarishkeit and be able to focus on the ways of Hashem, or to remind ourselves that Hashem is the boss and that we don’t have any kochi ve’otzem yadi. No. Those are definitely good reasons, but the main reason why we do this – is to have an awareness that we’re in the presence of Hashem.

If an Adam Gadol Comes to Your House

I had anashim chashuvim come to my house several times. And at that point, my life stopped. I remember once we were zocheh to have the mashgiach from Lakewood, R’ Matisyahu Salomon, come here. I remember I was so excited that I convinced my shvigger that the bedroom set is not lefi kavodo. So we bought a whole new bedroom set lekovod him. Then I said the mattresses have to be changed. You can’t be mechabed such a yid with such mattresses. We painted the room. We put lamps and clocks in the room. And it’s still called R’ Matisyahu’s room. That’s how we refer to it. I went to his house. His house is very pashut. But it didn’t make a difference. I remember that the days before he came, my agenda was cleared. I was busy. I was thinking the whole time, “What can I get him? I have to get a small refrigerator for him. Maybe he wants drinks, maybe he wants this.” I tried to think about what drinks he wants, what drinks he likes. I remember being into it. It was a tremendous experience for me.

You know why? Because I knew somebody very chashuv was coming to my house, so everything was freed up. I couldn’t do the normal, regular things.

When Shabbos comes, it has to be the same way, rabbosai. That is the avodah of preparing for Shabbos. You don’t start right before Shabbos. You start Wednesday, you start Thursday. Shamai started Sunday. Hillel said, you don’t need to start Sunday, but it’s better to (Beizah 16a).^[iii]

Many times, I imagine what I would do if my rebbi came to visit me. I would clean the house better than before Pesach. I would kasher everything. Shabbos comes. You have to think, what can you do for Shabbos? And if you don’t do this and you don’t think about this, you are missing out. This is the idea.

So let’s do this avodah. When you go home tonight, try to think that the reason why things are different is because Hashem is coming as a guest. I’m hosting a very chashuve guest called Shabbos. Where is he? Inside of me. Shabbos is inside of me. Shabbos is in the air. Shabbos is all around. And if we’ll do that, then this Shabbos will mean something to us. But if I view Shabbos as a burden because I’m not interested in Shabbos, and I’m under the impression that I’m supposed to have a good time on Shabbos, then I begin to make my own plans. I’m going to sleep the whole Shabbos. I’m going to eat the whole Shabbos. I’m going to read books on Shabbos, I’m going to have big bull sessions on Shabbos. So some bachurim decide to have beer parties. Some people could drink schnapps. Some people make special kiddushim.

But it’s not for Shabbos. It’s all for themselves. That’s the idea. If you do it for yourself, you’re doing the wrong thing. You are supposed to do what you do for the kavod of our special guest called Shabbos. And if we do that, we’ll be zocheh to the tremendous brachos of Shabbos, tremendous hashpaos of Shabbos, and we’ll have a very elevated Shabbos.

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^[i] אמנם לפי הנ”ל אתי שפיר דבל מה שצוו חכמים אנו יודעין שכן הוא גם רצון ה’ ודבר זה לעשות רצונו ית”ש כל באי עולם מצווין ועומדים מתחלת ברייתן ע”ז דכל הנמצאים נבראו לעשות רצון קונם וכל פעל ד’ למענהו והא דקטן פטור מכל המצות הוא ששום שכן הוא רצון ה’ לפוטרו אבל שכיון שגזרו חכמים עליו ואנו יודעין שהסכימה דעתן לדעת המקום ב”ה ממילא חייב לעשות כדבריהן שכן הוא רצונו ית’ .ובזה אפשר לפרש כונת הכתוב בירמיה י”ט ובנו את במות הבעי לשרף את בניהם באש עלות לבעל אשר לא צויתי ולא דברתי ולא עלתה על לבי ע”כ ופירושו בתרגום דלא פקדית באוריתי ודלא שלחית ביד עבדיי נבייא ולא רעוא קדמי הני בכתוב הזה מפורש כי יש שלשה חלקי תורה א) הנקרא צווי ב) הנקרא דבור ג) שאין עליו לא צווי ולא דבור אלא רצון ד’ בלבד והם כל המצות דרבנן כנ”ל. ולפני פשוטי המקראות נראה שזה היה עונו של בלעם הרשע דלכאורה אחרי שאמר אם יתן לי בלק מלא ביתו כסף וזהב לא אוכל לעבור את פי ה’ מה היא רשעתו אבל באמת אף שידע בלעם היטב כי הליכתו יקלל את ישראל הוא נגד רצון ה’ לא חשש גמ’ ע”ז כ”ז שלא היה לו צווי מפורש שלא לילך וע”כ אמר לא אוכל לעבור את פי ה’ פי דייקא אבל רצון ה’ לא היה חשוב בעיניו לעשותו וזוהי רשעותו.     

^[ii] ״וְכִבַּדְתּוֹ מֵעֲשׂוֹת דְּרָכֶיךָ״. ״וְכִבַּדְתּוֹ״ – שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא מַלְבּוּשְׁךָ שֶׁל שַׁבָּת כְּמַלְבּוּשְׁךָ שֶׁל חוֹל, וְכִי הָא דְּרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן קָרֵי לְמָאנֵיהּ ״מְכַבְּדוֹתַי״. ״מֵעֲשׂוֹת דְּרָכֶיךָ״ – שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא הִילּוּכְךָ שֶׁל שַׁבָּת כְּהִילּוּכְךָ שֶׁל חוֹל. ״מִמְּצוֹא חֶפְצְךָ״ – חֲפָצֶיךָ אֲסוּרִין, חֶפְצֵי שָׁמַיִם מוּתָּרִין. ״וְדַבֵּר דָּבָר״ – שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא דִּבּוּרְךָ שֶׁל שַׁבָּת כְּדִבּוּרְךָ שֶׁל חוֹל. דִּבּוּר אָסוּר, הִרְהוּר – מוּתָּר (תוס’ ד”ה שלא יהא דבורך של שבת כדבורך של חול – פי’ בקונטרס כגון מקח וממכר [וחשבונות] ואין נראה לר”ת דהא כבר נפקא ממצוא חפצך אלא אומר ר”ת כדאמר בויקרא רבה (פ’ לד) ר”ש בן יוחי הוה ליה אימא סבתא דהות מישתעיא סגיא אמר לה אימא שבתא הוא שתקה משמע שאין כל כך לדבר בשבת כמו בחול ובירושל’ אמרי’ בטורח התירו בשאלת שלום בשבת)

^[iii] תַּנְיָא: אָמְרוּ עָלָיו עַל שַׁמַּאי הַזָּקֵן, כׇּל יָמָיו הָיָה אוֹכֵל לִכְבוֹד שַׁבָּת. מָצָא בְּהֵמָה נָאָה, אוֹמֵר: זוֹ לַשַּׁבָּת. מָצָא אַחֶרֶת נָאָה הֵימֶנָּה – מַנִּיחַ אֶת הַשְּׁנִיָּה וְאוֹכֵל אֶת הָרִאשׁוֹנָה. אֲבָל הִלֵּל הַזָּקֵן – מִדָּה אַחֶרֶת הָיְתָה לוֹ, שֶׁכׇּל מַעֲשָׂיו לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״בָּרוּךְ ה׳ יוֹם יוֹם״, תַּנְיָא נָמֵי הָכִי, בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים: מֵחַד שַׁבָּיךְ לְשַׁבְּתָיךְ, ובֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים: ״בָּרוּךְ ה׳ יוֹם יוֹם״.