Bamidbar 5784: Are You Ready for Kabalas HaTorah?

Sponsored
in memory of
Fayga bas Reb Avraham Moshe

Consider sponsoring a shiur
Visit YTATorah.org

Shiur presented in 5777

---

What’s The Purpose of Ameilus in Torah?

Since the Torah on Har Sinai required a kabalas haTorah, it’s important for us to think about whether we are ready for a kabalas haTorah. Rav Chaim Volozhiner writes that kabalas haTorah is not something you do once a year. You should do it every time you learn. A person should be mekabel Torah before he learns. He should think to himself, Na’aseh v’nishma.

Shavuos was the day that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us the Torah, and that was the day that kabalas haTorah began. So we need to address some important questions about why kabalas haTorah is necessary. Even if a person knows that he needs to observe the Torah, one of the big questions that everybody struggles with is the mitzvah of limud haTorah. People want to know, “Why is it so important to learn Torah?” People want to know, “Why is ameilus baTorah so important? What’s the benefit from it?” Why is it so important?”

Torah Enables Us to Have a Relationship With Hashem

So, the first thing you have to know is why Torah is important. Now, these are questions you will be asked in your life, or you may ask them yourself, or your children might ask, “Why is Torah so important?” And the answer is that Torah is important because the goal of our existence, as the Ramchal explains it, is to develop a relationship and a kurvah (closeness) to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Now, having a union and relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn’t come automatically.

People think they could have a relationship with Hashem through chassidus. Some people think they can have a relationship with Hashem through kabbalah. Some people think they can have a relationship with Hashem through singing, through neginah. Especially since they were told that sha’arei neginah is the highest of the highest sha’ar in the heichal. They go for that nonsense. Anything to get out of ameilus baTorah. There’s no shaylah about it that people who sing are definitely in the highest of the highest places. But I don’t think it’s in shamayim. Something tells me this, but hopefully I’m wrong. You know what they have to know? The Ramchal says the only way to create and have a relationship with Hashem is through kiyum hamitzvos. That’s the only way you could have a union, a connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Otherwise, it’s not shayach. You know how important that is? You have to remind yourself all the time that, “My goal is to have a kurvah.” And you tell your children this – that’s the only way it’s going to work. “Why can’t we do this Tatty? Why can’t we do that Tatty?” And you’ll say, “Because the kurvah to Hakadosh Baruch Hu happens al yedei Torah and mitzvos.”^[i]

Why is Torah the Special Tool?

So then a person says, “Okay. That’s what the Ramchal says. He was a kabbalist. He was a philosopher. He was a big oveid Hashem. He was a big talmid chacham. He was a master of many trades. And if he says the way to do it is through mitzvos, he must know what he’s talking about. But who says it has to be Torah? And who says it has to be ameilus baTorah. And how does it have to be ameilus baTorah?”

Talmud Torah Keneged Kulam

The first thing you have to know is that talmud Torah is keneged kulam. If talmud Torah is the greatest of all mitzvos, that’s the greatest way to get a kurvah  to the Ribono Shel Olam. If mitzvos are the secret to that kurvah, and the Torah is the biggest of all the mitzvos, it follows that Torah is the greatest kurvah. If you’re not getting that kurvah, you know what you know? You know something very clear. If you’re not getting that kurvah out of Torah, and Torah is turning you off, you’re evidently not learning Torah. You may be sitting here, and you may have a gemara in front of you, maybe a lot of gemaros in front of you, but if you don’t feel that kurvah,you’re not learning Torah. And you have to push yourself to figure out, “How am I going to learn Torah? What am I doing wrong?”

Torah Gives Awareness and Sensitivity

Now many people think, “But I don’t like Torah.” So the answer to that is they have to know that when they say they “don’t like to,” what does that mean? Does that mean: “I, Yisroel Brog, the Jew – my neshamah does not like to”? Do I not want to have a kurvah with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Everybody has to acknowledge that his neshamah, והנפש לא תמלא, the neshamah wants to have a kurvah to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. What’s the problem? That a person also has a guf and his guf is interested in fun. His guf likes to rest. His guf likes easy things. And his guf gives him quick fixes. And because of that, his guf doesn’t allow him to enjoy Torah. You need to develop your neshamah. You need to develop a relationship with your own neshamah, an awareness first of all, and a connection second of all. Just telling a person that he has a neshamah doesn’t mean he has a connection to his neshamah. He’s connected to his guf. He’s connected to his kishkes. So first you need to have the awareness, and the connection to your neshama – and then you feel mitzvos. You can then be margish mitzvos. You can be margish Torah.

Now, Rav Chaim Volozhiner says, Torah requires a kabbalah. So every time before you learn Torah, you have to train yourself to be mechazek your kabalas haTorah. You have to say to yourself as follows: הנני מוכן ומזומן לקיים, “I am ready and prepared to fulfill the biggest mitzvah in the Torah, which is the best way to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Whether I understand it or not, whether or not I can figure out how – I can get closer to Hakadosh Baruch Hu by discussing mechitzos between yards, digging ditches next to another guy’s field, planting trees, which seem like very mundane things. Whether or not I understand how it works to make me get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, it’s irrelevant. This is Torah, and anybody who learns Torah and thinks about the fact that he’s doing a mitzvah of Torah will feel it.”

Torah Gives Its Secrets To Those Who Toil

Now people say, “But I don’t feel it.” And the answer to why you don’t feel, is because Torah has its own personality. You know what Torah is? Torah is called Toras chaim. You know what Toras chaim means? Living Torah. What does that mean, a living Torah? What’s a dead Torah, and what’s a living Torah? It doesn’t say tefillin is tefillin chaim. It doesn’t say tzitzis is tzitzis chaim. When you do a mitzvah of tzitzis, tzitzis itself doesn’t have any relationship with you. But Torah does. Torah has its own personality. It’s its own neshamah. It’s a living entity. It may not have feet like you have. It may not have eyes. But the Torah is a living entity, and the gemara says in Sanhedrin (99b) clearly that the Torah gives its secrets to those who are willing to put forth an effort.^[ii]

If somebody says, “I have to put forth an effort to derive vus shtait in the Torah,” the Torah says, “I will give that individual my secrets.” But if you don’t think Torah is worth making an effort, you’re not going to get it.

Lack of Emunah Brings Foolishness

There’s a noradige Chazal (Pesikta Zutrasa, Vayechi)^[iii] that says: מי גרם לישראל, what caused Klal Yisrael, or what causes Klal Yisrael, שיהיו מטופשים, that they should become tipshim (fools)? You know what it says? You know what causes Klal Yisrael to become fools? One thing: שלא האמינו בתורה, they had no emunah in the Torah. They had no faith. לא ניתנה תורה לטפשים, “Torah was not given to fools.” You know what that means? It means that in order for Klal Yisrael to be mekabel the Torah they had to have emunah in the Torah, because if you don’t have emunah you don’t get Torah. To get Torah you have to believe in Torah. You can’t be zocheh to know Torah, to feel a connection with Torah without emunah. You have to believe in it. It’s not similar to another chachmah. It’s not like reading a math book. It’s not like studying how to fix cars or how to build houses. It’s a different kind of chachmah. This chachmah requires you to believe in it.

Now, when a person believes in something, you know what he does? He puts forth effort. For something that I believe is important, I will put forth effort. For something that I don’t believe is important, I don’t put forth effort. Now, sometimes, I put forth effort even if I don’t like to. Of course, it’s easier for the guy who likes building things to put forth tremendous toil and exertion to build things because he enjoys it. Of course, if you enjoy something, you’re going to put forth effort. Have you ever seen people running down the block early in the morning? How do they do it every single day? Don’t they get tired? No. You know why? Some people like to run. You know why they like to run? It’s to get their endorphins going. It’s called runner’s high. That’s what happens; they feel that high, and they enjoy it, so they run. That’s what it is.

With Torah – you have to invest in it. You have to be willing to put forth the effort. The Rambam writes in his hakdamah to Mishnayos Zerayim, about the moradige koach of Torah sheba’al peh. People think that the ma’aleh of Torah is minimal and it doesn’t do much for a person. He says it’s not true. It develops a whole mentsch. It makes a person understand anything and everything in every area of his life. Torah opens a person’s mind. You take a look at a guy who doesn’t have Torah, he’s a pauper. The guy talks to other paupers all day long, so he thinks he’s smart. It’s amazing to me!

Now a person has to be meshtadel. The Rambam says you have to be meshtadel. It’s very important. A person has to be willing to be matriach. Ameilus is the measuring stick. If you’re willing to be matriach yourself that shows you believe this thing could be important. It shows, “I have an interest.” Of course, after you develop an interest and you develop a joy, for the person who has a developed interest it’s going to be much easier. He broke through the barrier already – of lack of interest.

How to Nap Like a Ben Torah

The guy who is pursuing olam hazeh, could have a hard time developing his chachmah. I remember there was a rosh yeshivah who called me up. I was trying to get a bachur into his yeshivah. He tells me, “Does this bachur take naps?” I said, “Does the bachur take naps?! When? During the week? I thought most bachurim take naps.” He said, “A bachur doesn’t take a nap.” I said, “In your yeshivah no one takes naps?! They pashut learn all day?! No one takes naps?!”

He said, “Let me explain to you what I mean.” He said, “There are two kinds of naps. There is a nap, a Shabbosdike nap. For his Shabbos nap, the guy gets undressed like he’s getting ready for a long trip, gets into his pajamas if he wears pajamas and tells the world, ‘Goodbye. I don’t exist anymore. You don’t exist anymore. Sayonara!’ That’s what they say. Goodbye!”

He said, “And then there’s a nap where a guy is resting in order to rejuvenate his kochos. Does this guy take a nap by lunch, gets his clothes off and goes into bed? If he does, he’s mufka from Torah,” he told me. “I don’t want to talk to aza bachur who is so mufka.” A person like that is just out. He’s not davening minchah. He’s not learning second seder. He’s mufka, that’s it. He’s out!

When you go for a nap, you lay down to rest. You lay down on top of the bed. It’s mikreh. It’s not saying “goodbye” to the world.

Kabalas HaTorah: How to Stay Connected

A person has to understand that this is what the goal is. The goal has to be for a person to invest and have an interest into trying to stay connected with Torah. He has to understand that he has to make that breakthrough. A guy who is an emese ben Torah can afford to relax a little more. You know why? He already enjoys doing this (i.e. learning). But if you don’t enjoy doing it yet, if you’re still struggling with the enjoyment, you’ve got to make that basic breakthrough. You don’t take vacation before you get anywhere in the “course.” This “course” is called: “Do you relate to the Torah yet? Do you have any chashivus for the Torah? Do you have any emunah in the chashivus of Torah? Do you have any understanding in the toeles of the Torah?” That’s kabalas haTorah.

Here is a bachur who just called me up from Eretz Yisrael. He’s learning Perek Hashutfin. I told him, “Where are you holding?” He said, “Lefichach.” I said, “Tosfos, lefichach. How long did you spend on that?” He said, “The kollel spent a little over two weeks every day pounding that Tosfos.” He said, “I’m going nuts.”

A person has to understand that he can’t learn Torah without putting forth effort. It’s not shayach. Now, not everybody can put in the same effort. Some people have the capability of putting in more effort than others, depending on where they’re holding on the ladder. A baby in second grade could put forth only so much effort. A guy in sixth grade – more. A guy in tenth grade – more. A guy in twelfth grade – even more. But as you mature, you’re supposed to put forth more effort, being able to and willing. A person has to gauge whether he is willing to put forth effort for Torah, or he just likes it to come easy? Are you one of those guys who rationalize, “Oh, for other people, it comes easy to them. They don’t have any challenges.” It’s not like that.

Kabalas haTorah means, “Hashem, I’ve come to appreciate that if I don’t have Torah, if I was never given the Torah, I would never accomplish anything. I would never have that relationship with You, Hashem, that I would require for my perfection.” To graduate life, you have to have a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and the highest means is through the Torah. The ameilus baTorah is a siman, is a measuring stick, of how much appreciation, how much emunah, how much simchah you have for the zach. When you have no emunah you have no chashivus, and you’re not putting forth any effort. Shavuos for you is not going to be happy. But you’ve got ten days left until Shavuos. You’ve got ten days left. Let’s get started. Think about these rules of the Torah and you can still develop some tools to help you make a real kabalas haTorah.

Now another thing the yetzer hara tells a person is that, “I can get away without ameilus baTorah.” Now what’s the answer to that? “Some people are made for bekius,” they say. Is that true? The mitzvah of שתהיו עמלים בתורה was only for certain people? Now, I’m not going to tell you that everybody could be amal baTorah all day all night. I didn’t say that. But everybody has to be amal and put forth an effort to learn, to understand the learning.

What Does Hashem Want From You?

In last week’s parshah, Bechukosai,it says as follows: ואם לא תשמעו לי, if you won’t listen to My mitzvos, ולא תעשו את כל המצות האלה, and you won’t do all of these mitzvos (Vayikra 26:14). Now, this is a very strange passuk at first glance. If you won’t listen to Me and you’re not going to do all the mitzvos – what does that mean? So Rashi says, what is the meaning of אם לא תשמעו לי? Rashi says, you know what that means אם לא תשמעו לי? If you won’t commit yourself to ameilus baTorah. If you’re not willing to commit yourself to making an effort to understand Torah. You gave up already. You’re not interested. You’re not willing to put forth an effort to learn Torah. You know what that’s a siman of, zugt Rashi? That if a person is lo lamad, the next stage is lo asah.^[iv] A person who is not willing to exert himself to understand Torah, has no interest in asiyas hamitzvos. That’s what it says אם לא תשמעו ולא תעשו. You know why? Because the ikar purpose of ameilus is to really understand what is truly being said. You want to reach the point where you ask yourself: “What does Hashem want me to do?” To try to be mechadesh in how you do a mitzvah, to come up with something. Lefi zeh I could extrapolate, this is what Hashem wants me to do.

It says, if a person is not going to be amal baTorah, you have to know the next step is – lo asah. It means, if you’re not willing to invest in this mitzvah of learning Torah which is the key to understanding all the mitzvos. The same guy who can’t be amal baTorah can’t learn Mishnah Berurah too. He has a problem with the Mishnah Berurah and the Be’er Halachah. It becomes too hard for him.

Now, ואם לא תשמעו לי. Rashi says, what does that mean li. Rashi says זה המכיר את ריבונו, it’s talking about someone who is makir his Creator ומתכון למרוד בו, and he intends to rebel against Him. That’s a pelah. There is such a briah of a person who is makir. He has no safeik that there is a Ribono Shel Olam. And he’s מתכון למרוד בו. You know why? Because he has no interest to know the mitzvos. He doesn’t want to know exactly what Hashem wants him to do.^[v]

Knowing What Is Important to You

Here is a fellow who puts on tefillin, but he puts his tefillin on his forehead, incorrectly. You ask him, “Why do you put it on your forehead? Is that how you were taught?” What’s the answer? Why do people put it on their foreheads? Do you know? Why do you think people who wear their tefillin on their foreheads do it? You think it’s because it says you should place the tefillin “between your eyes”? No. The gemara says there were Tzedukim like that, but that’s not why people do it today. You know why people do it? They don’t even think about לטוטפות בין עיניך. They are that clueless! They say, “It’s comfortable. It fits.” When you put on tefillin for the first time on people, they always say, “They’re falling off. They’re not going to stick this way.” The guy thinks that the tefillin’s going to go flying off his head. If he pushes it down and the tefillin gets lodged on his forehead, now that feels like he’s doing it properly. But it’s not so. You’ve got to put the back knot by the top of that bone called the occipital bone and you’ve got to put the tefillin on the top of your head going up at the place where your head gets softer, called the fontanelle.

So a guy just asked me, “Does that mean for twenty-two years I never wore tefillin?” I said, “If you put tefillin on this way every single day, maybe you were mekayem mitzvas tefillin sometimes. Because when you put the tefillin on, you started with them up here and then you pulled them down. So until they got down, you were yotzei the mitzvah, maybe.” He said, “Do I get anything for the hishtadlus? For the trying.” I said, “You get something for trying, but Hashem is going to ask you, ‘Why didn’t you find out the right way to do it?’ The answer is, I didn’t care less if it was the right way.” I said, “When you wear your shirt, do you button the top button and skip to the third or leave a couple of buttons open? No. Why? Because it’s not the right way. For that, you found out the right way. Do you button your sleeve to the front of your shirt? No. How come? It’s not the right way.” People do everything the right away, except when it comes to what Hashem wants. You have to do what Hashem wants the right way. And if you don’t care, it means to say you don’t care about anything. Ai, the person says, “I do mitzvos.” It’s not because you care. You do them because it doesn’t bother you. That’s why you do them. That’s the only reason.

Picking Mitzvos By How Much Effort is Required

Here is a person who eats on Shabbos. Does it have anything to do with Hashem? No. He likes chulent. He eats when he wants. He eats how he wants. It’s a mitzvah? It’s a good thing it’s a mitzvah. “Hashem is lucky. Now I’ll do what He wants.” But he doesn’t care bechlal.

How many people skip seudah shlishis? It’s brought down that you shouldn’t stuff yourself at the first meal, so you should have an appetite. But people have kiddush, where they eat like seudas Shlomo besha’ato. Then they have the main meal at home, a second seudas Shlomo besha’ato – so is it any wonder why they don’t have room left for seudah shlishis?

It’s very important to know – we have to put in effort. The relationship you get with Hashem is not through this automatic performance of mitzvos. It’s by putting in an effort into doing the will of Hashem. You’re not building a strong relationship with a mitzvah you don’t struggle with. If you have a friend, and you give him a smile and a shake of your head, that’s not going to build a major relationship with him. But if you put in effort, you exert yourself, and put yourself forward, that can do something. A person needs to understand that this is the importance of putting in an effort.

Now Rashi is telling us that when you see a person, who is not toiling in Torah and doesn’t want to toil in Torah, you’re seeing a person who is not willing to exert himself in any area to do the will of Hashem. Sometimes you see a person who is medakdek in certain mitzvos. You see the dikduk. He has a meshugas in certain mitzvos that are kadosh to him. Meshugasim. That has nothing to do with the will of Hashem. It’s his own hang-up. He’s not doing the will of Hashem.

No Toil, No Do, No Honor, No Believe

So, once a person is not willing to put the effort into toiling in learning, that person is not interested in asiyas mitzvos. Then Rashi goes on to say there’s a next step. You know what the next step is? If you don’t like to learn, you’re going to detest others who are medakdek in mitzvos. You’ll call them frumacks, frummies. You’re going to be mo’eis be’acheirim.

It also makes no sense. Why should you care if somebody else is doing mitzvos? That guy wants to put the effort in. That guy wants to do the right thing. You should have respect for him. No. You can’t take it. Chazal say, you’re mamash מואס באחרים העושים.

I see this with a lot of guys who start to go by the wayside. When their learning stops, you know what they do? The first thing they do is they make fun of other people who learn. It’s junky. It’s all not serious. They’re not tzaddikim. These guys with big peyos think of themselves as who knows what. You put down other people doing mitzvos. They pashut can’t take it. It pashut eats them up. And the next thing they do is, they’re sonei chachamim. You see, in the previous stage, you know what they say? Chachamim are different. But then they get to the madreigah that they’re sonei chachamim. You hate rabbanim. I used to ask people, “Do you have respect for rabbanim?” I used to always ask them this question. “Do you have respect for all rabbanim?”  “Rabbanim? They’re all a bunch of fakers.” You know what I knew then? I knew exactly where they were holding in the world. Because I knew they already were lo lamad. They were already holding by lo asah. They were already מואס באחרים עושים, and they were sonei chachamim. You know what the next step is? What they do is, they’re moneia others from doing mitzvos. They prevent others from doing mitzvos. That’s mamash an unbelievable thing. And you know what the next thing is? They deny that Hashem made this mitzvah. They say, “I don’t believe that Hashem made such a mitzvah. I just don’t believe it.”

You have a guy doing borer on Shabbos. The guy is picking out whatever he’s picking out. You say, “That’s borer. That’s one of the thirty-nine melachos of Shabbos.” He says, “I don’t believe for one second Hashem cares about how I pick my salad out or how I pick my soup out. Give me a break. Who made that up? Some rabbanim? What was he doing? Trying to sell something?”

They reject all the mitzvos and they’re mezalzel in mitzvos. They deny. They say, “Ah, it’s a whole bunch of chumros. The rabbanim made up these stories to make life hard for us.” And on and on.

The Sweet Buzz of Torah

Do you know what the eitzah for all this is? There is one simple eitzah. If you meet a modern guy who is a kofer, a guy who is already sonei chachamim, the eitzah is not to get into a fight with him and tell him that chachamim are chashuv. Rabbanim are great. No. There’s one eitzah. “Come, let’s learn something. Let me learn something with you. Let’s get into something. Take apart a gemara. Say, you’re a smart fellow, right?” I always used to ask them this question. “Do you consider yourself of average intelligence, below average, above average, or very above?” I can’t tell you how many people tell me, “I’m definitely above average.” Very few told me they’re average. The only shaylah was, when they told me they’re ‘above average’ whether they meant to say they were ‘way above average.’ I’ve met a number of people who have told me, “What should I do? Most people are stupid next to me.” I say, “Who told you that? Your mother? I mean, who told you that? What are you known for? Meheicha teisi you’re like that?”Imagination. They convince themselves that they’re like that. So the best thing to do is to say, “You’re a smart fellow. Let’s learn a little.” Just like that. 

I remember talking to a young fellow who thought he was a genius. He told me he’s going to bring me down. He said, “I heard you made some other people frum. You sold them a bill of goods.” He said, “You know why? They had no brains. But I’m going to be your demise. You met your match now.” He tells me, “I’m going to listen to everything you say. I’m going to write it down and put it on a computer. I’m going to make myself a whole file on you, and one by one, I’m going to take you apart.” He says, “I’m going to chew you up and spit you out.” I told him, “You know, you’re getting me excited. You’re getting me excited, my friend. I love a good challenge. But I would say to you like this. I would suggest you act a little humbly, because  there’s a possibility you may end up with an egg on your face. I know you think you’re smart, but I’ve got some surprises for you.”

I’ll never forget, after spending a couple of months with this guy, I finally decided, here’s the challenge. I said, “I’m going to teach you a mishnah in mesechta Makkos. I’m going to teach you all the tricks.” I said, “If you were trying to prepare the mishnah on your own, it ain’t going to work because Torah is a living Torah. I know you don’t believe it but trust me. Try it your way. Treat it like a dead Torah, and not one sentence is going to go in your head.” I said, “Give it respect. First wash your hands before you learn Torah. Let me show what the blessing is that you make beforehand. Give it the respect it deserves. I’m telling you, it will help you out. As much as I’m going to try to give it to you, it’s not easy.” I said, “Now we’re going to learn this mishnah. I’m going to teach it to you first. Bring a tape recorder. I’m going to teach you on the tape what each word means. And you’re a lawyer. We’re talking in an area of law now. We’re not talking about kabbalah,” I told him. “No kabbalah here. You understand? We’re not either talking about kadshim, about sacrifices.”

He brought the gemora and I said, “There are five questions that stand in your face. Now, I’m giving you the rules now. Everything is exact. Every statement here is meduyak. Tell me five questions that will demonstrate that this mishnah makes no sense. Show me your ability to analyze.”

I said, “Now, I’m going to tell you another secret. After you do that prep, you davened, you washed your hands, you’re wearing a yarmulke, you’re giving it respect, the next thing is, you can buy yourself an Artscroll.” The first Artscroll gemara that came out, if I remember correctly, was Makkos. It had just come out. That’s why I picked Makkos for him. I said, “Go get yourself one of those and cheat your kishkes off. Look in the notes. Look in English. Look in the commentary. I’ll meet you again after the weekend. If by Sunday you have five questions for me, please call me up. I’m going to be very excited to hear from you.”

Now, this guy was a who’s who in law school, and he became a macher shebemachers in law school. He was a very hot shot. He was a pretty smart guy. And he spent his weekend trying to challenge me. Then Hashem gave me nachas. Ah! The guy came. He called me up Sunday. He said, “I think I have a couple of questions.”

I remember telling him. I said, “My friend, I’m talking about English sentences. If I would tell you the following, ‘If a person does x he gets bafufshticks,’ what would you say the the obvious question is? If you would say, ‘I don’t know.’ You know what that shows me? You’re dumber than dumb. You would win the trophy for dumbness because the obvious question is, ‘What is bafufshticks?’ That is the obvious question. If you ask me, ‘Why bafufshticks?’ if you would do that, you know what I would know? You’re even dumber than I thought you were in the first place – because you don’t know what bafufshticks is. I’m telling you, obvious questions, because it’s a living Torah.” The guy pashut shvitzed.

Then I told him, “Now, watch. I’m going to show you questions that show how the sentence doesn’t make sense.” And I showed him one. Then I showed him two. And I showed him three. I said, “Do you want more? Have you learned your lesson yet?” I said, “I’m not finished with you. I have two extra credit questions for you that I was going to offer you, but we didn’t get to first base, so we can’t work on extra credit.” I told the guy, “You know what I just proved to you? I just proved to you something. Either you have to acknowledge to me that you’re not as smart as you thought, or I just proved to you the holiness of the Torah, and the Torah will not stick to you. You can’t even grasp it in English. I just proved to you that Torah is a Toras chaim. Now you can start to learn like a mentsch. Nowyou can commit yourself.You think you’re smart? You’re not smart. You think you’re wise? You’re otherwise, my friend. The only shaychus you have with wise is ‘otherwise.’”

That’s what a person has to know when it comes to Torah. He was humbled. But he became a ben Torah from that. He became a serious ben Torah. He became somebody who exerted himself and toiled in Torah like nobody’s business because he saw what it was. He even enjoyed it.

He was going back home to his city. He said he was going to meet his friends and tell them about his newfound hobby in life, learning gemara. He said, “You know, I’m going to get creamed. I’m going straight from the airport to a bar. About thirty guys are going to be there. They’re going to drill me.” He said, “Let’s play devil’s advocate. What are you doing these days? Why are you doing this?” All the questions back and forth. Finally I said, “Hold on,” I said. “Tell me something. What do you do it for? Why do you come here to learn? Between me and you and the lamppost, why do you come here?” He stopped to think and he said, “The buzz.” I said, “The what?” He said, “The buzz.” He said, “This feels like nothing else. I’ve done everything.” He said, “I’ve tried everything. This definitely gives me a buzz.” I said, “Do you feel the buzz? That’s why you keep coming back?” This guy was an active motorcyclist. This guy was a major player… High flying, a skier, a runner. Mamash he had a life. He pulled up to my house on a motorcycle. That’s how he lived. He was very smart. I said, “You get buzzed from gemara? From Makkos you get buzzed? My friend, you were zocheh. You were zocheh. You got a taste.”

That’s what we’re going for. That’s kabalas haTorah, rabbosai! This is your life. This is your whole foundation for all your belief in Hashem. You can’t have a shaychus to Hashem without that. You’ve got to have that shaychus to Hashem.

Hakadosh Baruch Hu should help us strengthen ourselves. And think about this. Give it thought. If you’re mekabel Torah on Shavuos, maybe you’ll feel the buzz.

---

^[i] ואמנם אמצעי א׳‎ נתן לנו הקל ית׳‎ שמדריגתו למעלה מכל שאר האמצעיים המקרבים האדם אליו והוא תלמוד תורה והוא בב׳‎ בחינות. הא׳‎ בבחינת ההגיון והלימוד והב׳‎ בבחינת ההשכל, וכו’. (דרך ה’, חלק ראשון, במצב האדם בעולם הזה)

^[ii] רבי יהושע בן קרחה אומר כל הלומד תורה ואינו חוזר עליה דומה לאדם שזורע ואינו קוצר רבי יהושע אומר כל הלומד תורה ומשכחה דומה לאשה שיולדת וקוברת. רבי עקיבא אומר זמר בכל יום זמר בכל יום אמר רב יצחק בר אבודימי מאי קרא שנאמר (משלי טז, כו) נפש עמל עמלה לו כי אכף עליו פיהו הוא עמל במקום זה ותורתו עומלת לו במקום אחר (רש”י ד”ה זמר בכל יום – היה מסדר למודך אע”פ שסדור בפיך כזמר והוא יגרום לך שתהא לעולם הבא בשמחה ובשירים; רש”י ד”ה נפש עמל עמלה לו – מפני שעמל בתורה תורה עומלת לו)

^[iii] כמובא בס’ אמרי דעת: “לא ניתנה תורה לטיפשין. מי גרם לישראל שיהיו מטופשין? שלא האמינו בתורה.”

^[iv] ולא תעשו. מִשֶּׁלֹּא תִלְמְדוּ לֹא תַעֲשׂוּ, הֲרֵי שְׁתֵּי עֲבֵרוֹת

^[v] ואם לא תשמעו לי. לִהְיוֹת עֲמֵלִים בַּתּוֹרָה, לָדַעַת מִדְרַשׁ חֲכָמִים. יָכוֹל לְקִיּוּם הַמִּצְווֹת? כְּשֶׁהוּא אוֹמֵר וְלֹא תַעֲשׂוּ וְגוֹ’ הֲרֵי קִיּוּם מִצְווֹת אָמוּר, הָא מָה אֲנִי מְקַיֵּם וְאִם לֹא תִשְׁמְעוּ לִי? לִהְיוֹת עֲמֵלִים בַּתּוֹרָה, וּמַה תַּ”לֹ לִי? אֵין לִי אֶלָּא זֶה הַמַּכִּיר אֶת רִבּוֹנוֹ וּמְכַוֵּן לִמְרֹד בּוֹ, וְכֵן בְּנִמְרוֹד “גִּבּוֹר צַיִד לִפְנֵי ה'” (בראשית י’), שֶׁמַּכִּירוֹ וּמִתְכַּוֵּן לִמְרֹד בּוֹ, וְכֵן בְּאַנְשֵׁי סְדוֹם “רָעִים וְחַטָּאִים לַה’ מְאֹד” (שם י”ג), מַכִּירִים אֶת רִבּוֹנָם וּמִתְכַּוְּנִים לִמְרֹד בּוֹ.