Tzav 5782 – The Proper Conduct in Shidduchim

The Bottom Line

While making hishtadlus or utilizing shadchanim are certainly permissible practices in shidduchim, we have to realize and accept the fact that neither of these determines the final outcome. Moreover, the unfortunate delays in the process often occur because we are the ones who slow it down. We so-to-speak “compete” with Hashem by inserting our egos and foreign hashkafos into the process. This coming week, if I or my children are currently in shidduchim, I will review the above steps and take the following suggestions to heart: being honest and transparent about what I want, intensifying davening and learning, not “competing” with Hashem, and, looking for ba’al or ba’alas chesed, a person with temimus and true Torah ideals. If a friend or even a total stranger calls me with a suggestion, I will stop and listen, because I truly believe that מה’ יצא הדבר . In the zechus of making these changes in my hashkafah and conduct, IY”H, I will be zoiche to meet my true zivug b’karov!