Tzav 5782 – The Proper Conduct in Shidduchim
In Honor of our Parents Alfred & Esther Harary by their Children & Grandchildren
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Shiur presented in 5780
In Honor of our Parents Alfred & Esther Harary by their Children & Grandchildren
Visit YTATorah.org
Shiur presented in 5780
The foundation of being an ehrliche Yid and the foundation of somebody being a talmid of Avraham Avinu is based on having good middos (Avos 5:19). And if you lack those good middos, then you’re one of the talmidim of Bilaam Harasha. He’s your rosh yeshivah, he’s your rebbi, and that is what you are drawn to.
In the Torah it says, “If your brother becomes impoverished…” That means, the redeemer goes to the guy who bought the achuzah and gives him money and then he gets his relative’s field back for him. The passuk continues, “and a person who doesn’t have a redeemer and he comes into money.” Let’s say the original owner, who had to sell his field, comes into money somehow. He wins a lottery ticket…
Yaakov Avinu was close to the end of his life. He called for his children and told them to gather around: האספו, gather together, “and I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen with you in the end of days” (Bereishis 49:1). I’m trying to imagine that. Yaakov Avinu, was the bechir ha’avos. Yaakov’s passing marked the end of the Avos era – the culmination and perfection of the foundation of Klal Yisrael.
We are in the Three Weeks now, together with the whole world, and we are trying to think about this period. Today’s shiur is going to focus a bit on understanding the three weeks from a psychological standpoint. The Chafetz Chaim, in his sefer Ahavas Yisrael, discusses the reasons why people don’t like each other. Now, the first thing you have to understand is that human psychology is at work overtime whenever we have social interaction. When we encounter people, whether face to face or from a distance, or even through somebody else introducing me to that person, the human being always establishes a platform: do I like that person, or do I not like that person…
I’d like to share with you today a mindset that one should have regarding the mitzvos of Purim. There is a mitzvah of mishloach manos איש לרעהו on Purim that the Yidden were mekabel upon themselves and it’s something that we still do with a great pump. People spend tremendous amounts of energy and money on this mitzvah today, as we see in all the ads, magazines and newspapers. The problem, however, is…
In this week’s parshah, we see a very interesting criterion for a shidduch. Eliezer is sent by Avraham Avinu as a shaliach to bring about one of the biggest shidduchim in history. The Torah tells us that Eliezer davened to Hashem to send him the right girl for Yitzchak. Now, Yitzchak was known for his tremendous and amazing yiras Shamayim. If you were to ask me to tell you what to look for when seeking a shidduch for Yitzchak, I would say you should find a girl who also possesses tremendous yiras shamayim. That would be a match.